What the hell happened to me?
Past 5 days seems to be very pale…
I just moved around like a ZoMbIe…..
there were as many people around me that could fill a mini theatre, but i still felt Alooone.
Why are my eyes staring at an empty bench even after realising she is not der?
Why the breaks of my class are not soo exciting as before??
I still feel her presence filling the water bottle even though I know she is not der…
Why my walks from academy to the hostel turned from meters to miles when I happened to walk alone…???
Why I still remember her waving hand saying bye from the auto when she was leaving to her home town …???
This is all about the girl who is driving me crazyyyy…………….
May 10, 9:35am
It was the machines class, the professor was seriously delivering his lecture, all were keenly listening to him, there was no possibility to even nod the head. But then I heard the sound of a paper flip and sensed a hand move. Out of curiosity I turned back and saw a girl sitting at corner whose face was hidden behind her silky hair. I could not spend much time to see her, as my class was going on.
Later I got a chance to see her as she headed towards water during the break, I followed her and i stood behind her few meters away keenly seeing her, too many boys around her…she brushed some strands of hair away from her forehead. I looked at her face, her looks would always draw an appreciative comments from any one. The whole academy people started talking about her …statements such as the most beautiful girl, she should be an actress became increasingly common. Some of it came from people trying to impress her. …though all these happen around her she doesn’t care them or even a sigh of smile from her is hard to find…she filled her bottle and was returning to her place, then suddenly our eyes met. I broke eye contact quickly. She sat in her place and began reading her notes even though most of them behind her commented her… she never bothered! Even the roar of a lion at her vicinity could not drag her attention. It seems she is reserved. She sat right under an AC…Her hair blew in the breeze and wisps of black gently stroked her face.
She is not even making a single move sidewards. Without getting carried away with the same feel…I thought I was digging up more… may be she was just an ordinary girl. But for my surprise I was stunned I couldn’t see a slight difference the next day even, My interest towards her increased day by day so I went on experimenting to figure out what actually she was?. A week passed in no time and I couldn’t resist myself to talk to her and to know about her.
I was waitng for each and every possibility to interact with her. It was our class break which put up a smile on my face that smile meant a lot. It was the smile which is filled with excitement dat i was gng to talk with her..i boosted myself as if i was gng to war ..i dragged my bottle which was struck to bag as a weapon . I thought there is no stopng me today towrds the point were she usually fills her bottle . I stood behind her and watched her each and every move…she gently opened the bottle and was fillng it. I was eagerly waitng to get a direct eye contact wit her but when the moment came i just stood numb and i had no reason to talk wit her and even she didnt have any reason to respond. Now my mind was searchng for an idea..sudenly i got a cal from one of my clssmte priyanka..sayng dat she was joing in lngterm course …i took dat call for my advantage..and dat day in the evng i followed her downstairs ,she was havng chat wit her friends ..intensionaly i intreptd their conversation and enquired about vacancy in their hostel as if my sister was in search of good accomodation near by…i was just hoping response from her to my luck she respond instantly without any hestitation. Her voice and fluency in her language made me attentive towards her. I coudnt take off my eyes from her face nd her surroundngs didnt bothered me…it was big day to me, and it demanded a celebration….
that day I went late to the bed ..i was just thinkin about her…there was a strange feeling running in me ..i kept asking myself ..wat the hell happened to me …why am i thinkin about her this much?? (This is the first time am thnkin about a gal this much…..)
Next day mrnin I woke with a fresh mind ..went to the class as usual, sat in my place immersed myself in the class ,didn’t know hw the time went on, when it was time for the break. just turned towards the bench where she usually sits …it was really hard to see her from where I sat, as she was seated in another corner..for a moment I wished everyone in my line of sight were absent that day.
I wanted to talk to her but could not think of a reason…4 days passed as usual I was just seeing her during breaks …one day mrng I felt sleepy and didn’t write my notes properly, my frnds too slept…I had to borrow book from someone to whom I haven’t spoke at least once….just then I realised that ..i could use this opportunity to talk her…..( hurray).
It was our brk time ( breakfast), she was leaving to her mess..i made up myself( brushed my hair,rubd my eyes,folded my sleeves)..and followed her …crossed her…turned back…walked towards her…she saw me ,smiled with puzzled look(why he is cmng to me) ..gently I spoked to her “ heyy hii! uum.. did u take the mrng notes?” she said “yess… but… I missed half a page..”, I said “it is ok, I haven’t written anything at all” and dragged the buk from her. Her friend who was beside her had a strange luk, I could make out that expression, it read “out of the 350 students in the class, why is he asking my friend only?”, but I ignored her..
While copying the notes, I observed her name…’Swetcha’, from Andhra university… thought she must be form vizag… later while returning the book in the eve, I asked her if she was from vizag… but she was not, she said she is from Kakinada..then I complemented her saying her hand writing was good, for which she gave a smile…the cute baby smile
Generally I don’t write morning class’s notes, as I feel drowsy in the morning(lack of sufficient sleep), so next day morning I asked her if she could lend me her notes daily, for which she accepted…that way I began to talk to her daily…also I would accompany her up to hostel and came to know many things about her out of anxiety… sometimes I intentionally asked her notes even though I had taken notes for that day… also I began to help her at water as there were many boys around…
one day, as I filled my bottle n turned back, she was right behind me…and for the first time I had a direct eye contact with her, I smiled n she too smiled in response… that was such a wonderful smile that I bet can nowhere be found in this miraculous world…I felt like the most luckiest person…
Just rememberd that smile for whole day ..
“Just this morning at around 5.55 am, as usual, I was walking alone in the street near by class. I had kept my cell phone in one pocket & my ID card in the other pocket of my pants. Hardly had I walked for ten minutes, when I found that my ID card was not in my pocket anymore. This took me by complete shock. I had no idea as to where it could have disappeared all of a sudden. I was clueless. I couldn’t believe how this could happen . I just felt sad because id is necessary to enter class …….with drowsy face turned back there she is…she gave my id card with a cute smile on her face…I was just seeing her face….my ears are on dumb state .. she was talking am unable to hear anything.. …I heard few words in louder voice “EXCUSE ME UR ID ……HELLOOOOOOO UR ID ”…I took my id saying sorry…asked her where did u find it…she replied “downstairs 🙂 “..her friends beside her were laughing at me :).
As usual entered the class and heard the classes attentively…and that day evening I decided to write about her in my blog because . Usually its my habit to blog about interesting things happening around. As she was unique to me I wrote more effectively on her…..
The next day I was very excited to give my blog address to her…and hardly I managed to meet her in afternoon…with big smile on my face .. “hey hii swetcha” I said … “HII,you were looking more happy today ” she replied …yes I said (without wasting time I wrote my blog address on a paper )..hey this is my blog address I wrote many articles and stories .. hope you will will find interesting .. I said. Ohhh really she said with a smile took the paper.
I am little bit more anxious to see her and ask her feedback regarding my blog …I didn’t get a chance to talk with her I missed all the breaks morning,afternoon and even evening ..finalyy the clock ticked 8:30 pm …all classwork had cmpleted for that day..made my move towards water point ..where she is filling her water bottle ..gently I walked with a smile towards her …..carrying her analog book which I borrowed earlier( and even to ask the feedback)… as soon as she turned back she just saw me seriously and avoided my eye contact..with louder pitch I shouted “HEY SWETCHA” she didn’t turned back.. finally after going a meter distance she stopped walking and she said her friend to take that book. Her friend came to me took that with a weird expression ..I couldn’t bare that situation ..i was puzzled what happened to her ? why she is so serious on me? I was just struck and couldn’t think about anything I stood standstill till 20 min seeing her from back …..she not even turned back.
I was on my way to my hostel..i couldn’t sense anything on the road my eyes are filled with tears……I wouldn’t trace any reason why she is like dat…I was just feeling guilty for no reason..many questions in my mind unanswered …finally I warmed my brain by self suggesting to talk with her next day.
With a pleasant mind entered the class..and was waiting for a break so dat I could find the reason from her. At 1:00pm in our lunch break just followed her she was just avoiding me and was taking long steps away from me. Finally I stood infront her ..and I asked why are u so serious ..why are u avoiding me ha?..she just saw me seriously and said ” i just joined here to learn subject not to entertain people like u….just go out of my way…i thought ur good but not expected u like dis.” Mean while we reached our hostels..she just went to have her lunch….but for a while i didnt understand anything i just stood silent and was seeing her ….. i was totally confused..wat the hell happened ..i was just questiong my self Being her friend is a mistake? Being mentioned her in my blog made her on wrong interprtion ? Did i behaved anything wrong wit her ? Wats my fault??….i was in no mood to eat anything on dat day…..
I just tried to avoid my eye contact wit her…just moved myself away.. when ever she was in my surroundings ..just stopped accompany her ….just concentrted on class…in the evening i met my school friend shiva.. he came long way from dhanbad..for summer vacation to hyderabad….he said that he was leavng dhanbad next day and wished me “ADVANCE HAPPY BIRTHDAY” ….i was surprised…… and i cant believe my self how can i forget my birthday…..after a moment again i came down from excitement…actualy i felt like not to celebrate..we both went to nearby restaurant had a conversation about wat i went through during the course.. that lightened my brain…after than we went to movie “RANGO” in inorbit mall..came back to hostel and slept earlier…the clock ticked 12…it was totally a BIG SURPRISE………i was not in my room ..i was shifted to other room of my friend ..the room is totally dark and is lightend wit cell phones..there was a cake in the centre of the room a name “pranji” with a caption B BOY..was glowed on choclate cake wit a candle light. And in a soft tone happy birthday song was played..frm music system….all my hostel friends wished me ..they just lifted me ..gave me birthday bumps..it was really awesome experience.
It was my day…wore new dress just got ready to go to morning class …as i was on my way to class swetcha was on the street as if she was waiting for me…she dont know it was my birthday….i just saw her and avoided eye contact..she was just seeing me till all the way i passed her,
I was just about to enter the class she was back of me ,I just noticed her and entered the class,had a intension to talk with her but something deep inside stopping me to do so….i was about to sit in my place all of sudden ,people sitting in neighouring benches wished me and shouted happy birthday that drawn a 200 people attention towards me ,Im hurriedly waiting for an morning break,Im expecting a wish from swetcha(hoping she should know from crowd)..hmm as expected she never posed any interest in outside stuff…..To my surprise collegemates planned a cake cut infront of academy building I was thrilled ,felt very happy for dat…but still I was missing something.
That day evening, I was planning to go out with my friends to round the Hyderabad ,Suddenly swetcha was just passing my side i cant resist myself ,i gave two choclates saying that “Today is my Birthday” she said “oh Really ” (wished me in a bit excited voice) even her friend beside wished me ,i felt Very excited and That might be the thing what i was missing since morning.
I cant Express my feelings in one Word ..i was really happy just took my uncles car and moved as planned to ride hyderabad ,
Hyderabad is my favourite city. It is strange, but if you have had happy times in a city for a long time, you consider it the best city in the world. I feel the same about hyderadabad. I know it is not one of those hip cities like Delhi, Bombay or Bangalore. I know people in these cities think of Hyderabad as a small town, though that is not really the case.hyderabad is the largest city in India, with a population of over five million. But I guess if you have to emphasise the importance of something, then it probably isn’t as important in the first place. I could tell you that hyderabad has better multiplexes than Delhi or nicer roads than Bombay or better restaurants than Bangalore – but you will not believe me. Or even if you do, you won’t give a damn.
All together entered a Restaurant where spicy and delicious hyderabadi chicken is available,and then to Hyderabad central mall watched a movie ,and I was just carried away with the feeling,the way she wished me.I was driving car at 120 on necklace road my friends were scared they are shouting at me ,what the hell happened to u,I was just in a trance slowed the phase and after all journey went to my uncles home.
I Hadnt spoken Much to swetcha after she wished,Pretty Girls behave best when you ignore them.(of course ,they have to know you are ignoring them,for otherwise they may not even know you exist).
In the past week,i had limited my communication with swetcha to cursory greetings everymorning and a casual walk at the end of the day.During class we had to pay attention to the teachers,but a question always puzzles in my mind..”why would any guy want to be only friends with a girl? Its like agreeing to be near a choclate cake and never eat it.Its like sitting in a racing car and never drive it.That was the case with me :p,It had been 7long days we are not talking each other as earlier,i decided to talk to her ,waiting for a right chance ….
That day evening as usual i was at tea stall eating biscuit,hyderabad is more famous for its chai-biscuit which refreshes our mind…my friend chakri was pulling my shirt to see swetcha ,she was heading towards Lift ,he dragged me towards her and ordered me to talk something to her in lift we both entered into lift acting like we had not noticed her,chakri stepped on my leg and sighing to talk with her ..In a nervous state i looked up saying “arey chakri fan is not working in the lift” he seriously looked at me again..”chakri ,today chai was good” we reached our floor ,swetcha went to her place ,chakri pulled my collar and started scolding y ru bothered about fan…..swetcha was beside u, y wont u talk with her ,he started punching me ..it was so funny incident finally i tried convincing him and entered the class. and i was shocked to see that she was talking to some others… i never saw her speaking like that with anyone.. i felt a bit low because i knw her than anybody else in the class if she was gng to talk it should have been me.. I felt like girls are all the same.. They wont speak to those who care…!!
i started avoiding talks with her and thoughts about her..! Those laughs and talks with others were wandering in my head..3 days gone i was completely numb…whenever she was in my vicinity my heart beats more faster…But something inside me stopped to feel her presence.
I came to know that swetcha was leaving in 2 days i was schoked to hear dat….slowly i realised why she was unusual in her routine behaviour…Felt like it is because of that reason she was trying to be friendly with others.Immediately decided to talk with her ,i was in no mood to hear the class waiting for a chance to talk with her.That Day evening I saw her going out with her friends,Her hair was a rich shade of mahagony. It flowed in waves to adorn her glowing. Her eyes, framed by long lashes, were a bright and seemed to brighten the world. A straight nose, full lips – she seemed the picture of perfection. Had she smiled, the world would sigh with contentment. Had she laughed, the world would laugh with her. And had she wept, the whole world would want to comfort her.
I made an eye contact with her,she smiled gently as if she was looking for a first time 🙂 …i just moved towards her , enquired her at what time she was leaving the next day and asked for a little time to talk with her,she said she was fine to spend time on noon next day.
This was the day swetcha was leaving not only from academy ,but also from the place she was placed in me.It was like world is gonna end today.she was like 50 days infront of me i cannot even forget each and every moment spent with her,i cannot forget each and every line she spoken with me.It was the day post next i cannot peep back to see her…I cant go after her to act filling my water bottle..I cannot accomany her in the evening walk,I cannot follow her to steal her beautifull smile,I cannot take chance borrowing books only to talk with her.As Planned she came afternoon ..gently sat infront of her i said how good to spend time with her.I felt little nervous to talk with her,as it was the first time to sit directly infront of her…after all conversation she stood wishing me good luck for my future…. in return i gifted a pen and wished her good luck.. turned back and she was moving away seeing that tears rolled down from my eyes……That Day evening I got my last chance to see her,she placed all her luggage in auto and about to go…she came towards me gave a firm hand shake rather than a hand shake she just hold my hand.. .making her eye contact with me and i can clearly see her eyes filled with tears…her friends from auto shouting ” swetcha its already getting late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!….she slowly loosened her hand and said a final BYE……..!